going home

So it's been an amazing and fun week in L.A. but this girl is ready to go home! I'm leaving Monday afternoon and will be back in my very own bed on Monday night! Yaaaay!

I arrived in L.A. almost a week ago, and it's been a really full, interesting and enlightening time, I must say. I've been staying with Mom's good friend Carla in Northridge, which has been great. She's become a bit of a surrogate mom to me - even before Mom died - and has been just amazing this week. I stayed with her for a week last summer as well. This week I had the chance to hang out with her daughters, Mandy and Carmen, which was fun. They're both great girls. I'd met them as a teenager but hadn't seen them since then, so it was great to be reintroduced.

Probably the biggest highlight of my week though was my meeting Thursday with a film composer whom I composer-stalked about a year ago and with whom I've been corresponding ever since. He's given me a lot of really useful information in that time and has just been a real inspiration to me. It was great to finally meet face-to-face and talk shop for a few hours. I also played the DVD of my spring orchestration for him which was incredibly nervewracking, but he seemed to be impressed by my work and said he was amazed that this was my first orchestral composition. Pretty cool.

I drove around the Hollywood Hills one day this week, checking out some of Mom's old apartments and taking pictures. That was great. Saturday Carla and I drove up to Ventura to see Mom's dear old friend Pamela (from the Pasadena Playhouse days) and to see my beloved Pacific Ocean. Also a great day. All in all it was a great week of reconnecting with people from my past - that was sort of a theme - and I dug all of that. I'm definitely learning how important it is to keep connections of every stripe alive and well. Mom was so good at that and I want to be too.

I did a lot of growing and sorting out this week. I didn't anticipate that - couldn't have - but I'm so so grateful for it. Each little leg of this trip in fact has shown me something new about my life, my friends, my family or my future. It's all pretty amazing and I'm so so grateful that I was able to take this time for myself.

The things that were driving me away from New York in June are calling me back now and that's a beautiful thing. Yay home.

warm all week

So I'm in L.A., after spending about 4-5 days in Idyllwild. My Dad drove me to the Ontario airport this afternoon where I picked up my rental car, then drove about an hour or so to my friend Carla's house in Northridge. Carla was a longtime and very close friend of Mom's, and she's subsequently become a friend of mine. I stayed with her last summer for a week, so it feels strange to be back in this bedroom, taking serious note of all that has changed. I had so many phone calls with Mom from this house last year, and had birthday dinner with Mom's good friend Jerry. They're both gone now. Crazy.

Things are changing for Carla. She's renting her house and moving to Arkansas in a few months to take care of her Mom; landing here on her shifting life seems somehow appropriate. I feel like I have so many questions about my own life - where I should be, what I should be doing, what's really important, etc. - so it seems perfectly normal to stay at the house of someone who's trying to pack up her 20+ year history and jump out into the unknown.

So this week I'm planning on doing lots of yoga! There are a few great studios in L.A. that I want to check out. I'll also hopefully meet up with two composers I've been corresponding with, and hopefully get more insight on writing music for a living. Seeing a few old friends and some new ones, and definitely some ocean too. Should be a great week.

The weather I special-ordered has been delivered in a timely manner, so that's handy! One more week to my crazy little adventure, and then I'll begin the crazy little adventure of life back in New York!

mountain air

So I'm in Idyllwild right now. I flew from San Francisco to LAX on Wednesday, and my stepmom (still sounds funny) Melissa picked me up. We had a great day in LA - had lunch with her daughter Jen, then did some shopping and drove back to Idyllwild, which is about two and a half hours from LA. It was great to have some one on one time with Melissa. She has such a sweet spirit and I really dig her. I even told Mom at one point, "I think she's the best thing that ever happened to Dad." Gotta love Mom's response: "Oh that's so great to hear!"

It's great to be in the mountains, to really see the stars and the bright moon, breathe some clean, dry air. I love the warm during the day, cool at night thing too. It's a full moon right now - the last time it was full I was in Bali, so that's pretty trippy. I'm looking forward to my LA time next week. I have some plans lined up, but mostly I'm just freeflowing. It's crazy how my head is right now. I don't really have a schedule or deadlines or anything, so I don't freak out about being late for anything or having to wait for anything. I'm hoping I can take a litlte piece of that home with me. It's amazing how the impact of this trip is some kind of a delayed thing. I really felt the benefits of being in Asia about two weeks after I returned, and all of this time with family I'm sure will hit me in the same sort of way.

So for now I'm here. Trying to just enjoy the sounds and the smells of all the yummy nature around me. Going for a hike today and tomorrow and just hanging with Dad and Melissa. It's so nice not to have a schedule because I know soon I'll need to get one. Monday I go to LA.

portland family

Jennifer and I went to Portland this weekend for Mom's cousin Sharon's funeral. She was Mom's favorite cousin, our surrogate auntie and also our family historian. We reconnected with and met tons of extended family - second and third cousins, with lots of removals and twice-removals. It's crazy to walk into a place, look around at everyone and think, "Hmmm. Yeah. We're related."

The funeral was hard but good. They played "Softly and Tenderly" which was a hymn we had at Mom's memorial. Go figure. Then we headed to Sharon's sister Rena's house and just hung out with family. Jenn and I stayed in Sharon's house which was really neat. She had tons of old pictures on the walls, including this one of our Great-Grandma & Great Grandpa, Emma and Garrett. We went to a bar that night with a bunch of our cousins - as Jenn said, "Drinking with the kinfolk!" It was a good time. Portland is such a beautiful town too. I really felt Mom's energy there. She grew up just a few hours away. We're excited to reconnect with everyone. Sharon was sort of our link to that whole side of the family (Mom's Dad's side), so we're happy to have reestablished that connection so we can stay in contact. More pictures of our trip are here.

I'm in San Francisco for just a few more days. Jenn and I are going to have a girls' day tomorrow - shopping and lunch. Then I'll fly to LAX on Wednesday where my stepmom Melissa will pick me up and we'll drive to Idyllwild. I'll hang with Dad & Melissa for a few days in Idyllwild, then head to LA for a week before going back to New York.

Meanwhile Oona is totally walking! She takes five or six steps at a time and it's so cool to see!

brrrr august

I guess I'd forgotten what summer is like in San Francisco - it's been awhile. I'm digging to the bottom of my suitcase every day, searching for long-sleeved shirts and closed-toed shoes.

I'm really happy to be back in the States though, and especially happy to be back with my sister and her family. I seriously have the best nieces and nephews that ever walked the earth and I'm really digging having so much time with two of them. It's a life very different from my own, but I'm digging it all the same.

The Thailand Urp, as Leda and I have formally named it (she has its cousin or something), still remains, and today I went to the doctor. I've dropped a few pounds since I got back from Asia. At first that was kinda cool, but now I'm over the weight loss and ready to eat real food again, especially since I'm (hello) staying with my chef sister! I'm on antibiotics again - prescribed this time - so hopefully that'll do the trick.

Jenn's catering a wedding on Friday night, so I'm gonna work it with her as a server, then Saturday morning we will head to Portland, OR. Our Mom's favorite cousin, and our surrogate auntie, Sharon, passed away last Monday. She went in for heart surgery and just never came out. Sharon was our strongest link to all of Mom's Dad's extended family, so we're glad to go and see the people. Most of them didn't make it to Mom's memorial, so all around it'll be good to connect.

Next Wednesday I'm heading to Southern California. I'll hang with my Dad in Idyllwild for a bit, then go to LA and meet up with some friends, meet a film composer I've been emailing but have never met, and hopefully see the ocean, check some things out. I'll be back in New York the night of August 25th and I think I'll really be ready. I'm missing my peeps and my apartment and my piano.

thailand yowzah

So our trip to Thailand was a little rough.

We did one of those package deals (airfare, hotel included) which Leda coordinated with a travel agent in Singapore. But when we got to Koh Samui, driven in little open-air shuttle buses directly from our plane to the terminal - so all started out very vacationey and nice, we discovered that the hotel she thought she'd booked was not actually the one we'd stay in. The Nora Chaweng Hotel and the Nora Beach Spa & Resort: two different spots!

We made it work, but our first room had the smell of wet towels, so Leda worked it the next morning and we got a free upgrade to a suite. Even so, walking out of the hotel we were in the midst of Chaweng Beach, which is basically the Times Square of Koh Samui, with the added bonus of prostitutes. So Times Square in 1986?

We wandered a bit our first night though and found a little outdoor bar/restaurant where I ordered papaya mango salad. Bad choice as it turned out because Saturday morning I woke up feeling a little wonky, and it all went downhill quickly from there. Body aches, urpy tummy, the whole nine. Luckily in Thailand there are pharmacies on every corner where you can purchase over the counter antibiotics, birth control pills (seriously straight out of the box) and any number of other so-not-over-the-counter-anyplace-else meds. I bought some amoxycillin, which I'm still taking. Haven't really had a full meal since Saturday so I guess I have now entered the weight loss portion of my trip - heh.

The good stuff: we had some great phad thai Saturday and also a good Thai dessert: sticky rice with mango. I swear the desserts in Asia - whoah. Yum. Also, although we couldn't stay there we were able to get to the Nora Beach Resort during the days to use their pool, hang on their beach and use their SPA! We had our second round of 2-hour massages/scrubs/baths which were great. Also the water was amazing, really beautiful. We were on the east coast of the island and the island itself is off the east coast of Thailand. The water was the Gulf of Siam, and very serene, warm and beautiful. The horizon looked endless. It was great to swim out there and just float on your back, with just the sound of the wind and the water in your ears.

Because I was under the weather a boat tour of the island wasn't really in the cards - bummer. The Thailand weekend turned out to be kind of a strange ending to a really fabulous trip, but that's okay. Everything else had been so stellar, I suppose we were due for some wonkiness. I feel like someday I should have a Thailand do-over.

I flew out of Singapore Tuesday morning and now am back in San Francisco where it's somehow still Tuesday. But yay - so so glad I'm here! I'll head to LA for a bit in a week or two and will be back in New York by the end of August.

bali follow up

So that whole birthday thing threw me way off these past few days, but I don't want that to stop me from sharing details about the end of our Bali trip.

Our last day there was pretty crazily eventful. We took an 8:30am yoga class (again over the rice paddies - eee!) and then checked out the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary, which was just down the road and basically a rainforesty space where monkeys are just walking around wild, kind of like those at the reservoir in Singapore. This was now my 3rd encounter with freewheeling monkeys - they were also at Ulu Watu, the temple where we saw the kecak dance. There's a big sign when you enter the place that urges you to NOT feed the monkeys, but of course just after that there were people offering bananas for sale. We didn't buy them. Leda was pretty stoked with the little guys and walked right up to them, but they kinda freaked me out a little bit. I think it's that they're so similar to humans but yet not - it's a bit unnerving. So we walked around, watched some cute little families interact, and then made our way to a temple that's inside the sanctuary. Just outside the temple was a squirrely little guy who we saw grab a banana out of a kid's hand. Then I saw him look at me (they say you shouldn't make eye contact but I so did). Before I knew it he ran over to me and started to reach for the water bottle in my hand. I dropped it before he could actually reach the thing and he toted it off to a corner where he began to try to eat it. He managed to somehow open it, and water poured out. If he had grabbed it, opened it and drank out of it I think I would have run screaming.

After we left the Monkey Sanctuary we walked back to our hotel, showered, packed and checked out. We headed back to Buddha Bali, that great little organic cafe/store in Ubud. Leda wanted to stock up on some things that aren't at all available to her in Singapore. My Dad called me on Leda's phone, which was neat. It was really nice to hear his and Melissa's voices, have a little connection to home. After Buddha Bali we hit the market and HARD. There's a sign in Ubud on one of the buildings that says "shop til drop" and that was pretty much us. It's sensory overload in there, with different vendors every which way, all clamouring for you to check out their wares. The bargaining is so completely exhausting, because you must bargain for every single purchase. I wonder how many tourists go in there and just pay the price they're given. It was fun, but I was wiped out by the end of the day. We grabbed dinner at a little place near our hotel, and I'm ashamed to say that I actually had spaghetti and meatballs for my last meal in Bali. If I saw one more piece of meat on a stick I was going to seriously lose it.

We learned from our tour guide that there are two ways to say no in Indonesian: one that leaves room for negotiation and the other that's very firm. "Bukan" is the negotiable and "tidak" is the firm one. I didn't say tidak (was worried it might be rude or something) until the taxi ride to Ubud when we were approached in the car, for about the third or fourth time, by guys selling newspapers and trying to guess our nationality, shouting, "you french?" "australian?", etc. This one guy lingered when I was trying to talk to Leda about something (literally newspaper plastered against the car window), so finally I turned my head and shouted "tidak!!!!" and he BOLTED! Ha! Nice to know that actually works!

In Ubud every time we walked down the street there was a barrage of "taxi miss?" "taxi?" "transport?" offers, shouted at us by mostly shady characters just sitting by their cars (I started saying tidak to them too). We had about three shady taxi experiences in Ubud, so we grew wary and weary! On the last day though, we were trying to figure out how we'd get to the airport without getting swindled, and were approached by a guy who didn't seem to give off a shady vibe at all, but actually seemed really nice. Leda talked to him for a bit (she's the master negotiator, don't forget) and he agreed to take us to the airport that night. He actually seemed really excited. The ride to the airport was actually entertaining because this guy, as it turns out, is totally into the kecak dance in a huge way and when we told him we'd seen it, he launched into the "chuck-chuck-chuck"'s and pretty soon we were all chanting/singing. Total white girl moment but it was awesome. Nice way to end the trip.

My birthday sadness yesterday was mitigated a bit by a trip to Leda's reflexology place in Singapore - just near her apartment - where I not only had an amazing foot massage but also a 30-minute back massage. Come on, it had been a week since my last one. I was due! Last night Leda and her friend Lisa took me out for a yummy meal of moules frites (moules frites in Singapore!) at this place on the river, and the waitresses even brought 3 cupcakes out with candles and they all sang - awww. It was really lovely and a nice way to end things in birthdayland. I'm sort of relieved it's all over now. Onward!

Tomorrow evening we fly to Ko Samui. It's only an hour and a half flight, so that should hopefully be easy. I've been reading the tour book and I'm a little worried about trying to even say please, thank you and good morning in Thai because of all the crazy inflections, but we'll see. We were laughed at aplenty in Bali for our Indonesian so that won't be anything new - although I'm proud to say that more than a few times we were told that our accent was very good, so maybe we improved. Or maybe those people were just being nice.

I think I'll definitely be ready to come home next week but it's been an amazing trip